Finding myself again..

In the past years I've been fortuate enought to get down to 115 pounds. Unfortuantely as you all know, that all changed the day I found out I was pregnant. I am here once again at the begining of my journey. All I care is that I become thinner tomorrow than I am today. I'd die to be thin. I am scared about the prospect of starting again, not knowing what lies ahead. But at the same time, I am desperate to find myself once again, to be happy and confident.

God has been with me through this all. I have prayed and prayed that He would make me stronger to avoid temptations. When I gained a pound, I begged for strength. When I lost a pound, I praised Him for His mercy. But try as I might, He has always remained in control of me.

I have used internet blogs and pro-ana sites as encouragement all along my journey. But lately I have grown increasingly weary of the losers who far outweigh (no pun intended) the true Anas. The critics who insist "but you're not healthy!" The wannabe tweens whose fasts only last for 2 days before they give in to binging without purging again, lamenting in pathetic prose about the boy who won't notice them. And the web-combers who insist on cleaning up the internet by shutting down the good pro-ana sites.

I thought it only fitting to finally dedicate a blog of my own to the true Anas. We all share the same affliction: ironically, feeling that we are all alone in our quest to become the thinnest we can be.

I hope all you girls are still going to respond to all the posts, that way we can all help motivate and encourage each other on this journey. Stay Stong ladies! Good Luck to all!

-- Love Truly, Emily.