Finding myself again..

In the past years I've been fortuate enought to get down to 115 pounds. Unfortuantely as you all know, that all changed the day I found out I was pregnant. I am here once again at the begining of my journey. All I care is that I become thinner tomorrow than I am today. I'd die to be thin. I am scared about the prospect of starting again, not knowing what lies ahead. But at the same time, I am desperate to find myself once again, to be happy and confident.

God has been with me through this all. I have prayed and prayed that He would make me stronger to avoid temptations. When I gained a pound, I begged for strength. When I lost a pound, I praised Him for His mercy. But try as I might, He has always remained in control of me.

I have used internet blogs and pro-ana sites as encouragement all along my journey. But lately I have grown increasingly weary of the losers who far outweigh (no pun intended) the true Anas. The critics who insist "but you're not healthy!" The wannabe tweens whose fasts only last for 2 days before they give in to binging without purging again, lamenting in pathetic prose about the boy who won't notice them. And the web-combers who insist on cleaning up the internet by shutting down the good pro-ana sites.

I thought it only fitting to finally dedicate a blog of my own to the true Anas. We all share the same affliction: ironically, feeling that we are all alone in our quest to become the thinnest we can be.

I hope all you girls are still going to respond to all the posts, that way we can all help motivate and encourage each other on this journey. Stay Stong ladies! Good Luck to all!

-- Love Truly, Emily.

New Begining 2011' ♥

Hey everyone, my name is Emily.This site has been passed down to me from Aliciuh, she is currently in recovery and has promised herself to stay away from this site and Pretty thin to better her life. I will be taking over her account, and will continue to keep it up and running from here forth. I am now the new owner. I am 19 years old and live in the United States. I have made some changes to the site and am hoping to update often. I do work full time, but I have access to a computer at all times. Feel Free to add me on facebook, yahoo messenger or email me at emily.love1991@yahoo.com ! I always try to respond almost immediately. I will be here to encourage you all, stay strong ladies! :)

So lets start from the beginning...

In the past few years I've been up and down with my weight. I was about thirteen when I started to realize in my eating habits. I have been in diets my whole life. I have gone from: starving for weeks, to binging and purging 6 times a day. It was going on for years. I had huge self esteem issues, and would lock myself up in my house for months. I distanced myself from everyone including family. I lost a lot of friends but I gained some too. I never felt confident enough to see anyone or even attend school unless the scale told me I was 115 pounds. I would not take anything more, I even dropped out of school for a year thinking I could get my life back on track. That didn’t work out to well.

I eventually realized I had to come out of my shell and finish up high school because I was a year behind. So that’s exactly what I did, I took up extra classes, and ended up graduating the year I was suppose to (:

I lived on my own by the age of 17. That’s where I met my fiancé. His friends lived across the hall from my apartment. They were known as the “popular rich kids” from my high school. They always stared at me when I would walk into my apartment, and they would always knockon my door and invite me over, and though I knew I wasn’t ugly. I felt like their was always someone better. So once again, I stayed home.

One day after coming home from work, I finally decided, “hey I’m going to go out there and meet these guys“, the girls didn’t like me much. I could tell. The moment I got there, almost of the guys kept asking me for my number and tried to flirt with me. I felt kind of disturbed, so I left within 10 minutes of being there. One of the guys followed me out to my apartment, and after months of talking to each other. We kind of got together. Its been 2 years now and some now. We have an adorable baby boy. Although, when I found out I was pregnant, I was filled with joy, I cried myself to sleep knowing within months my life was going to forever change and it did.

　

So now here I am, four months after the birth of my child and about 70 pounds heavier. I am not happy once again, I do have my fiancé. I work full time but other then that I have drifted communication from most of my friends. Even though while I was pregnant I struggled to give up my old habits, I did it for the health of my son. I promised myself to stay away from those bad ways, but its become impossible. I have gained soo much weight, and I feel helpless. In a way I am proud I did it, because now I have a handsome healthy baby boy, but I just need to go back to my old ways! So I’m now here with you guys. I’m going to start fasting again tomorrow! I’m kind of excited to be going back to my old ways, We can all do this together. I will update a lot and I PROMISE to help each of you all reach your goals! (:

Please don’t judge me! :/ I might be bigger then most of you, but I have a huge heart! I will basically just blog everyday, and everyone is welcome to comment and talk about themselves, just like previously and I will help you all. I will make sure that NONE of your comments go unreplied! :)

-- Love Truly, Emily.